Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
