12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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