Pappa wants mamma naked
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
