I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
