I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
