you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize