I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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