PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
