you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
