Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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