You smell like a Billy Joel song
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
