Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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