Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
