their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
