Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
