dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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