just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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