dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
