and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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