i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
