i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize