Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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