No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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