Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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