she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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