If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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