is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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