I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
