dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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