If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
