dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
