I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
