apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
