So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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