you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
