The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
