I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
