And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
