Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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