weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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