So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
