***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
