She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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