The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
