Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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