yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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