guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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