just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
