So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
