It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
