He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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