pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
