His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she looked like the before picture.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
