Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
