there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
