Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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