My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
