Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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