you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
