Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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