I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize