Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sorry my hands just texted you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
