just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize