I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
