What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
