i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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