are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
