In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
